Relationships can get complicated. And when tensions are high, couples aren’t always good at resolving conflict in healthy ways. Things get messy, resentment builds up, and people are left wondering if their relationship is worth fixing. That’s why couples counseling is available.
Couples counseling is an effective tool for people who want to work through conflicts but need extra help. By setting aside a certain amount of time to only focus on each other, a couple can smooth over miscommunications, disagreements, and hurt feelings. And having a professional there to guide the discussion makes the dialogue more productive than it would be alone.
Online couples counseling isn’t reserved for people who are struggling through a relationship. This experience is also for people that want to explore small problems before they become massive.
Interested in couples counseling and how it works? We have everything you need to know. Keep reading to learn about what you can expect, the benefits of this type of counseling, and whether it’s the right step for you and your partner.
What is Couples Counseling?
Couples counseling is a form of psychotherapy that focuses on the relationships between couples. It is usually short-term as it works to help people recognize and resolve conflicts. This can help improve relationships whether a couple is married or in a long-term relationship.
Online couples counseling is performed by a licensed therapist who specializes in relationships. They are known as marriage or family therapists. Having a licensed professional specialized in relationships is just another way online couples counseling differs from typical one-on-one counseling.
While couples counseling often happens with both partners and a therapist, it can also occur with just one partner. It will depend on the plan for treatment that is decided by the couple and therapist.
Know that this type of counseling is goal-oriented. It attempts to locate the underlying issues in a relationship. It then attempts to resolve or give the tools for resolving these problems.
Not all problems can be fixed during an online couples counseling session. But by talking and learning the tools for talking, resolving problems can continue for years to come without a therapist.
The Role of a Couples Counseling Therapist
Understanding the role of a therapist can often make couples counseling seem less intimidating. Whether it’s in person or online, a therapist is there to help. So let’s talk about how that works.
First, it’s important to understand that a couples or marriage counseling therapist is not a psychiatrist. That means sessions will not be used for diagnosing and treating. Instead, the focus is on the relationship.
As the focus is on the relationship, a therapist also isn’t taking sides. The goal is to help both people find a way of communicating and treating the other that resolves instead of creates problems.
When both partners attend and discuss, the therapist acts as an objective party. They can guide the discussion towards finding a resolution. They can also advise on how to express different thoughts or feelings. But they aren’t a referee and are not there to call the game!
Couples counseling therapists are experts in relationships. So they can use both their expertise and neutral perspective to identify what may seem obvious to one partner but couldn’t express. They can set the right goals for the couple and help them improve their relationship in the future.
How Couples Counseling Works
The stages and techniques used in couples counseling may differ based on the therapist and the couple. However, you’ll usually see some common hallmarks of any in-person or online counseling experience.
Here’s what you can expect from the process.
Interviews and Initial Disclosure
A therapist must get to know a couple. By knowing the individuals and some basic history, they can get a better sense of the relationship. This also can help establish trust between a couple and their therapist.
Identifying Problems
Once the therapist has gotten to know the couple, it’s time to dive in! Through discussions with the couple, the therapist can begin identifying and helping the couple find what problems interfere in their relationship.
Some of these problems may be ones that the couple had already identified. However, the therapist may be able to discover the root of several problems.
For example, a lack of communication or not expressing feelings may cause several other problems. Where the couple can only see the symptoms, the therapist can identify the true problem.
Setting Goals
After the problems are identified, it’s time to work towards resolving them. Resolution can come in two ways:
- The first is discussions with the therapist. In these sessions, a therapist guides conversations and helps the couple work towards the goal.
- However, you must work outside of sessions. The therapist will help set goals and give the couple the tools and techniques for achieving those goals.
Homework
You may have dreaded homework in school, but the homework a couples counseling therapist gives can change lives.
Online counseling may only happen every week for a short period of time. But a relationship is 24/7. That’s why a therapist will give activities or short-term goals for homework.
This could include:
- Worksheets
- Q&As
- Readings
- Shared experiences
Relationships are strongest when a couple puts in the work. And that’s why therapists may give homework they believe will make the relationship even stronger.
The Value of Couples Counseling
Sometimes, just having an objective third party present to guide discussion is enough to resolve a problem. However, couples counseling goes well beyond that. It’s more effective because you’re not just talking to anyone. You’re working with a professional that has experience working with people to resolve problems.
With a therapist that identifies issues, creates goals, and provides a safe space to share feelings, couples counseling sets the stage for open and honest communication. You will gain insight into their own thoughts and actions and learn how your behavior affects your partner.
But perhaps even more important, couples counseling gives people in a relationship the tools to resolve conflicts in the future. It’s not possible to resolve every past, present, and future issue during your counseling session. But you can learn the techniques and strategies for improving your relationship through financial problems, infidelity, etc.
If you identify with any of these experiences, you may want to consider couples counseling:
- You have disagreements with your partner that you feel unsolvable
- There are deep-rooted feelings of pain, guilt, or shame with your partner
- You’re spending less time together and seeking outside sources for fulfillment
- You spend less time together, including intimacy
- You’re paranoid about the relationship
- You’re considering ending things
Conclusion — Could Couples Counseling Be Right For You?
Couples counseling isn’t only for a married couple on the brink of divorce. It’s great for any relationship. As people, we can always improve how we communicate with someone we love to avoid miscommunications or hurt feelings. Couples counseling gives you the tools to strengthen and improve your relationship.
If you’re interested in couples counseling, search for a counselor today! They will help you and your partner identify where your relationship can grow and help you reach your goals together.